Mom

There are a few things I am learning about my mom as I'm about to become one.

She used to always say something along these lines, "Don't do anything stupid, I worked too hard to get you."  She battled her own infertility battle and had really rough pregnancies.  While my infertility battle was longer and tougher, my prenancy hasn't been as bad as hers were (read: puking every day).  But I've invested a lot into this too.  My body has sacrificed a lot and worked really hard.  I get what she means now.  You get in really deep and attach emotionally too.

I used to question why she did certain parenting things one way or another.  Now I know she was just as clueless and new to it as I am.  I have tons of uncertainties as to how to raise a child.  I've never done it!  And neither had she.  I'd just always known her as mom.  She knew everything and I couldn't understand how she could make a mistake or not know how to do something to make the world right again because she was MOM.  Superwoman, you know?  As I make the transition from Amy to Mom, I hope my kids are more understanding as we try and figure out this parenting thing together.

I'm sure I'll have a lot more "ah-ha!" mom moments in the near future but one thing I do know is how much my appreciation, gratitude and love has grown for my mom as I experience the same things and feelings she did 31 1/2 years ago.  She has been there for me every step of the way and I lean on her expertise and wisdom to calm my fears and insecurities.  She was a baby herself, at 22, when she had me.  And she became the most important thing in the world a woman can become to a child - a mother - and did a pretty darn good job.  Now she'll have another important job - grandma - one that she is SO excited for.  I'm sure she'll do a great job at that too.