Weekend

This weekend has been so hard. Friday I came home from work and was offered full-time work at my job (wahoo, right?) Well, there was some negotiating to be done which didn't really go my way so I was a bit disappointed. Kinda put a damper on the mood and a precursor to the rest of the weekend. I do start this week though, wish me luck!

Saturday morning Maggie woke up at 5 a.m. and then I had her come to bed with us and she had a seizure around 6. It was a pretty mild one (and she hasn't had one in a really long time, but I had seen seizure evidence Thursday when I got home from work but I didn't know for sure). At 1:15 p.m. she had another one and then another one at 1:45. Of course the vet closes at 1. I had his cell phone number from the last time she had a cluster so I called and he answered, and told me if she had another one to bring her in. At 4:20 she had another one, and being the angel that he is, came down to the hospital to give her a Valium shot and gave me 2 Valium suppositories to give to her if she had more episodes. The drugs put her totally out of it and she kept flopping all over my back seat and falling off, etc. Made the drive kinda scary.

My parents and grandpa game over to watch the Utah game while Dallin was at the Real game. I was supposed to go but thought it'd be better to stay home with Maggie. About 15 min. after they left she had another seizure and I push the Valium. Man, was my adrenaline going! About 10 min. later she pooped and I'm pretty sure she pooped it all out. She laid on the couch and had another mild seizure lasting about 15 seconds then she fell asleep for a long time.

We made her bed up in our room to keep an eye on her and around 1 a.m. she had another Grand Mal. I pushed the Valium and she tried to push it out but luckily most of it stayed in. She was able to rest for a few hours then around 9 a.m. she had two really close together and the last one left her legs almost useless. She'd stand up and walk a few steps and they'd just give out. I have never felt so horrible for a creature in my life. I called the hospital and luckily a vet was in and told me to bring her in right away, so I did. He gave her another shot of Valium and a shot of sedation to relax her, relax her brain, and kick it out of its seizure pattern.

He spoke candidly about the many options we still have to explore but if we can't get the clusters under control, maybe look at putting her down. I LOST it. I think his bedside manner isn't the best because we still do have lots of options. Her levels barely just came in range so now we can mess with dosage, different combinations of drugs, etc. So I feel grateful that we still have many options to explore but having that little doubt in the back of my mind has made me a mess.

She's been in the hospital all day being monitored. They're going to keep her there tonight and while I'm at work tomorrow. I feel grateful for that because I didn't know what I was going to do with her. Maybe I'll be able to get a little sleep too. You know how everything seems so much worse when you're tired?

I just feel helpless and hate to see her suffer. I hope we can get it figured out soon so we can all get a little relief. She's just become my little buddy, I can't picture my life without her. Our house feels empty with her at the hospital. I hope she knows we're doing everything we can to help her and get her better. You know what I love most about her? We'll take her on a ride and she'll stick her head out the window and look at people and every single one of them grins at her. She makes them smile and makes them happy. I love my little pup. Please keep her in your prayers.