After Sacrament meeting I sunk a bit lower as the awkward moment when they pass out gifts to mothers ensued. Luckily, the man who handed me my gift knows my situation and didn't look around for non-existent children before deciding to hand me a gift. I'll take my mint truffle and eat it happily, thank you very much.
Maybe my emotions were just a little more toward the surface today. A glaring reminder of all the things I don't have but also a shining reminder of all the things I do and opportunities that I excitedly wait for. I am so blessed to even still have that possibility. And that I got my second EVER positive ovulation test this past week is encouraging that things are moving in the right direction.
I am so grateful for a loving mother-in-law who has raised such a wonderful, caring son and who loves me as her own. And for my own mother. There aren't words. They say you'll never truly appreciate your parents until you are one yourself. Every day I am grateful for the lessons she has taught me and the kindness she shows toward others. For her unwavering testimony and support to buoy up all those around her. I appreciate her so much already, I can only imagine the things she has taught me that I don't even realize.
So Happy Women's Day. Mother is such a special title and one that not everyone gets to enjoy right now for one reason or another. Being a woman is a special responsibility too. Shine in your kindness, examples, charity and love. For that is what a woman truly is.
3 comments:
thanks for sharing your thoughts, I think of you often and hope and pray that you get your miracle baby soon! it's totally okay to feel the way you described, and I hope you cried and got it all out bc it totally helps too!!
You are amazing! It is hard to watch mom's with mtheir babies. My worst moment was when three of my sister in laws were pregnant and we were in the middle of getting money together for a surgery. It will happen, but it's so hard to wait!
I hear you- I'm in the "I don't care" phase. I'm sure I'll move back into the sad, bitter stage soon. Infertility is so all-encompassing it is hard to go even an hour without thinking about it, or the shots or pills or ovulation or whatever. Sometimes I think "yes this will happen" and then sometimes I think "theres no way". It is really hard to see moms with babies, or even dads with babies (because you wish so much that you could give your husband a baby), sometimes seeing that will make me sad for days. Sometimes even being with family and your nieces and nephews makes you sad! After 5 years of this, I think I have the sadness under control and then I will see or hear something and I'm right back where I was. All we can do Amy is keep hoping! Let's hang in there and keep hoping together! You are so strong!
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