Bedtime Nightmare

I haven't slept through the night in about two months.  The longest uninterrupted sleep I've gotten in that time period is 5 hours.  It's been rough.  I knew what I was signing up for so I'm not complaining, mainly documenting my daughter giving me a taste of my own medicine as I refused to sleep as a baby for my mother.

Granted, she has cut three teeth in three weeks.  She's up to seven of them.  It makes her look so grown up.  But she refuses to sleep unless she's being held or sleeping with me in my bed, which I can't do anymore.  She's getting heavy and it's taking a serious toll on my back.  With our met deductible being up at the end of the month, my weekly chiropractor visits will cease and I can't go as often so she needs to sleep in her own bed.

While I was working, her loving grandmothers snuggled her through all naps.  This girl is not used to sleeping on her own in her bed.  I, too, am guilty of just wanting to hold her as she sleeps but I get nothing done as her naps are in my arms instead of the crib.  Sunday night I decided this had to change.

The tricky part is, the slightest movement like you're going to put her down, she wakes up flailing and screaming bloody murder.  I didn't want to let her cry it out because I know this point in time will be short-lived.  That soon she won't want to snuggle and will probably cry at the sight of me, not when I'm out of sight. So I got the "brilliant" idea to sleep on the floor next to her crib so she could still see me and not feel like I abandoned her as she cried it out.  Did I mention she's never taken a binkie and refuses one?  Her self-soothing skills are sorely lacking.  It seemed like every 5 minutes that night she'd pop her head up to check and make sure I was still there.  Eventually I was able to make a run for it and sleep in my bed for a couple hours.

I was so proud of myself for being a real grown up and solving a parenthood problem.  We had success!  The following night was the same routine, except this time Zoey had figured me out and didn't care that I was on the floor - she knew what was up.  Needless to say, it was a LONG night.  Again, the following night was more of the same.  I eventually let her cry herself to sleep and felt like pretty much the worst mother ever.

I am DREADING bedtime tonight.  It's already more crying and Dallin is on duty currently.  I just don't know what to do to help her self-sooth and realize that bed isn't this horrible place.  I don't know what made her start to hate it, she used to do just fine.  The teeth are cut now so shouldn't be as painful and I load her up on Tylenol so I'm pretty sure it's not pain.  I'm at a loss.  Any ideas out there?  Wish us luck...